


Without You

by wickedorin



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: AU, Angst, Gen, agonizingly sad, not fun, possibly a little too realistic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-02
Updated: 2014-07-02
Packaged: 2018-02-08 04:48:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1927188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedorin/pseuds/wickedorin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written as a fill for a drabble request on AwaitingMassProduction: "Kurou deals with the end of Kotetsu’s life."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Without You

The hallways in that wing of the hospital were always remarkably quiet. Very still. It wasn’t that the android didn’t understand why, but the reality of the situation was still held back. Pushed aside. At least, he had tried to keep it that way until he had been called at work by the hospital staff. Entering the room, he uttered the familiar greeting. “Hello, Kotetsu. How are you today?”

"Hey, Kurou." The man was smiling despite the need to be propped up in the bed, a touch of pain only in the corners of his eyes. He hadn’t been able to eat much again, clear by the way the hospital gown hung on his form. "I’m being released to hospice care today."

And that was what the call had been about, the reason why he had been utterly silent upon hanging up with the softly speaking nurse who had phoned him. The reason why Dr. Saito had actually needed to call for him twice before he realized, responded. “Yes. You would certainly prefer to be with your family in the— In this time.”

"Hey, you’re my family too, you know. Actually, I kinda need you to help get me home." He wheezed a little laugh.

Kotetsu would fare better in a car, he knew that. Perhaps the “fresh air” would “do him good”. Or perhaps the man simply hadn’t wanted anyone else to take him home. Standing at the bedside, he began to unfold the change of clothes which had been on the wheeled table for several days. Unused. “This is a time for organic family, is it not?”

"You trying to get rid of me?"

"I would never attempt such a thing." He answered honestly, perhaps a bit too seriously. "I simply— I am not certain—"

"I want you to be with us, Kurou." The man left no room for argument, struggling a bit to sit up fully, but succeeding.

"I— I do desire to honor your wishes, Kotetsu." That was rather important to the android, in fact.

Moving to try and smooth out some of the creases in that dress shirt with his hands (and being remarkably unsuccessful), he didn’t look up as he asked, “So what’s the problem?”

Blinking, that much seemed obvious. “You will be— Expiring.”

Kotetsu chuckled softly. “That’s one way to put it. It’s okay to say I’m dying.”

"It is not."

"It is!" He argued, trying to smooth out the creases in his pants next. "I… don’t want anyone to be afraid of that. Or pretend it’s not happening. It’s okay."

"I do not particularly wish to think about such things." Kurou admitted.

"Well, me either."

That didn’t really help either one of them. Kurou set about pulling the curtain around Kotetsu’s hospital bed so that the man could change in privacy. “What type of estimate did the doctors give?”

"Oh, about a week."

One week. 168 hours. 10,080 minutes. 604,800 seconds. Not enough time by far. “Would you like to meet with the Heroes again?”

"We already said our good-byes yesterday, Kurou." Kotetsu reminded, offering no argument as the android began aiding him in the removal of that hospital gown. "I think… that’s all they can handle."

"And you?"

"It’s all I can handle, too." He obediently leaned forward to help Kurou get his undershirt on.

There was silence as the android straightened out the fabric, and silence still as the dress shirt was slid on, deftly buttoned. It was only recently when Kotetsu couldn’t do such for himself anymore. He’d begun… breaking down. But there was no amount of maintenance which would assist in his condition. Even having that knowledge, knowing it to be a fact of organic life, he had not allowed himself to think much of it. “You are to spend this week at home, then.”

"Yeah." The answer was soft, a little rough. Carefully, he started to pull back the covers and move his legs so they could finally get some damn pants on him. He kinda missed pants in the hospital.

That too was an activity accomplished in silence, Kurou never failing to be as cautious as he was efficient. He was processing, thinking, and that much was completely obvious; even as he moved to place the shoes on Kotetsu’s feet, tying them to the exact tension specifications that the human liked.

"Penny for your thoughts, Kurou." The man finally prodded.

"You do not have a penny." He pointed out, almost distracted. Focusing on the subject matter again, the android rose and regarded Kotetsu for another long stretch of time. "I— I am ashamed to admit that I do not think that I can manage this. To have known you, for everything that you have given me, the possibility of witnessing the moment when life ceases— I cannot explain. I do not understand. To witness your passing is likely to alter my logical programming."

"It alters everyone’s logical programming, Kurou.” Kotetsu snorted, looking… older. Much older, despite the youthful smile, the nice clothes, creased though they were. “We all know we’re gonna die someday, but… we don’t know-know it, yeah? And it’s just… it’s really unfair.”

"Yes." He could hardly bring himself to say more; particularly as he heard the door open. With a little glance to Kotetsu, he simply stepped around the curtain in order to speak to the nurse. It was a quiet conversation, simplified, tired and tense at once. He was asked if he was the one signing Kotetsu out, and was handed a variety of things after giving his response; one of which was morphine. "For the end". Instructions were written on a card, and there were several pages worth of things that he had no desire to look over in that moment, but he thanked her for her consideration regardless. Even if he noticed the way in which she was breathing was forced. Pausing irregularly. Expression too tight. The man was no stranger to the hospital, after all, nor the staff.

Returning to the former Hero’s side as the nurse left just a bit too quickly, Kurou hadn’t been prepared for the question, “Whatchya got there?”

He answered honestly, regardless. “Booklets and morphine.”

Kotetsu whistled before chuckling, sliding closer to the edge of the bed. “Boy, they don’t mess around.”

"It— No." The android could not find it in himself to point out the purpose of morphine at the end of one’s life. "Are you quite certain that you wish me to bring you home on my motorcycle?"

"Oh hell yeah. One last ride." The smile looked honest, at least. “Let’s get going, okay? I don’t want to waste a minute now that I’m free.”

"Is this what you would consider ‘freedom’?" Kurou wasn’t even quite aware of what he was asking when the words came, standing at Kotetsu’s side in order to act as a crutch, taking a good deal of the man’s weight onto himself to enable some semblance of walking.

"Kinda." Kotetsu hefted himself from the bed on his own, setting the pace as they started on their way out of the room and toward the elevator. "Being here was driving me nuts. I mean, if no one can do anything, then I may as well be where I wanna be, right?”

"I suppose that is sensical." The android allowed.

Making their way down an empty hallway, Kotetsu thought out loud. “A Hero’s gotta know when they can’t win. And this is… well, this isn’t something that I can fight. Or anyone else. This is flesh and blood, Kurou. It ends, yeah?”

"Yes. I know such, logically. But this situation is not logical."

"Sure it is."

"Just saying a thing does not make it so, Kotetsu."

"Well still.” He was tired already. Barely actually walking, but tired. He was damn glad when they stopped to wait for the elevator, even if it was just a few seconds. The ride down took a little longer, and the elevator itself was mercifully empty.

Kurou’s question seemed so sudden and out of place that he surprised himself with it. “Are you— Afraid?”

That much surprised Kotetsu, as well. “A little, sure. It’s kind of scary not to know… well, you know. There are lots of beliefs, but. I don’t really think anyone knows for sure. And I’m… I’m going where Tomoe is. So it can’t be a bad place. Not if she’s waiting for me.”

"Ah. That is— A somewhat unique take."

"Not too unique, I don’t think. But that’s how I feel. I’m pretty sure she’s been looking after me all this time. Explains a lot.”

Tempted as Kurou was to agree, his processes focused mainly on aiding the man out of the elevator as it opened, avoiding a small crowd which was waiting to be lifted upward. It wasn’t his place to agree or disagree.

"Hey, Kurou. What’s your take?"

"My ‘take’?"

"On… what happens after people die." Kotetsu clarified, a little.

The android elected to take a turn in order to reach a lesser-used exit, allowing them a bit more privacy. It was closer to where he was parked, as well. “I could not begin to know.”

"I didn’t ask what you knew.” The man pointed out. “I asked what you thought about it.”

There were several steps of silence as they eased toward the door. “Matter—including energy and information—can neither be created nor destroyed. It can only change forms. Life to death is a change of form. Beyond this, I could not hope to understand.”

Kotetsu wheezed a soft laugh. “There you go again. Thinking you missed the point when you got it and then some.”

He really didn’t know what the man was talking about, but he got the feeling that it may be useless to ask. He pressed the automatic door button with his elbow instead, waiting until the doors were fully open before they continued through. The sun had just started to set outside, world slowly starting to glow in the colors of gold and fire, the heat of the day dissipating into a soft breeze. It was agonizingly perfect, and excruciatingly still. Unmoving, save a small group of birds in the grass several meters away. Kurou hadn’t realized that they’d remained in place until they began moving again on a silent signal.

"It’s a good day." Kotetsu pointed out with a smile.

"Yes."

"There are gonna be a lot more than this."

"Without you." The words came before he could process them, before there was any semblance of silencing them before they were spoken.

"Hey now." Kotetsu’s words were patient, but ever so lightly harsh. "You’re all going to be fine, okay? You’ll take care of each other.”

"Yes." Kurou agreed somewhat automatically, locating his motorcycle and moving so that Kotetsu was standing at its left side. "Indeed this will— Continue."

That much stunned the man to silence, simply moving along with all of the android’s subtle cues, allowing himself to be lifted, his legs to be moved so that he was on the motorcycle just before Kurou joined him in front. “So you’re just… gonna be watching everyone you care about kick it, huh? Hey, that’s… pretty awful, now that I think of it. I’m sorry, Kurou.”

"No, Kotetsu. There is nothing to apologize for." Even so, there was a pause before he turned to look back. "I would— I would rather it be this way. No one will ever mourn for me. I will— Be able to be there. For those I care for."

"Still pretty rough." He commented with a frown; an expression that only deepened when he realized that Kurou meant to put a damn helmet on him. Yeah, sure, safety first, whatever. At least it fit.

"I did not express any ease in the situation." Kurou pointed out, assured that the helmet was in place before turning back to start the engine. "Though I believe I will prefer it to the alternative."

It seemed better not to comment about that matter at all, honestly. Instead, Kotetsu asked outright, “So you’ll be there with us? All week?”

"Yes. If that is your will."

"Okay. Good. You guys have to send me off in style."

Kurou blinked. “Define ‘in style’”.

"Um. I don’t know. Banners. Music. Party hats?"

Even at a time like that… “I cannot determine whether or not you are being serious.”

Well, the laugh was definitely honest. “Neither can I!”

"Kotetsu. I—" He’d have defined the rush of layered emotions a glitch, under other circumstances. At the moment, it just seemed… like the only thing he could have been experiencing. Layered, mixed, powerful, undefinable emotion. "I will miss you a great deal."

There was a long silence from the man before he slumped forward, wrapping his arms around Kurou. “You’ll make it there too someday, yeah?”

Strange. It was far too difficult to speak at the moment, as if something were physically preventing him. There was a distinctive sting at the corners of his eyes, and his respiratory cooling system had paused, if only for a moment. He simply grasped one of Kotetsu’s hands and nodded, instead.


End file.
